Scrambled Mommy Brains

I used to pride myself on my multitasking skills in the workplace: I’d update a spreadsheet, check my e-mail, attend a conference call, install a software update, and water my office plant all at the same time! Most days I felt super accomplished and useful, albeit a bit drained and empty in a corporate America kinda way. I was one of many, many office drones, after all.

Now I’m a work from home mom. I’m a corporation of one with two cute coworkers — my hubs and my baby. It sounds so much simpler and more fundamental. But if that’s the case, why do I find myself staring blankly down Aisle 5 of the grocery store, trying desperately to remember why I went there in the first place?

I’m going to blame scrambled mommy brains.

Combine a lack of solid sleep, a super active toddler, having the inane lyrics of dozens of children’s songs stuck in my head, and the frenzied pace of a day trying to squeeze in work, baby, and household chores, and my poor brain is left flopping around in my skull like Charlie the Tuna flung to the dock before being canned and eaten.

I think when I became a mom, a section of my brain got roped off with a little sign that has my daughter’s name on it. Now, that portion of my brain is always on hyperdrive, trying to figure out how to keep her safe and content. I think it’s like that whirring noise a computer makes when it’s so overheated the fan starts kicking in. WHIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR … no wonder it drowns out all other thoughts.

I try to remember to take more fish oil, but I forget … and also to Google which foods give the most energy, but I forget … and to make sure to get 7-8 hours of sleep every night, but I forget …

However, for so many years, although I had it together professionally, my brain was also preoccupied, wondering if I would ever be a wife and a mom … if I would ever have a family of my own. There was a vacant spot in my heart reserved just for my future husband and children …

And now my heart is full …

Perhaps my brain cells can’t ever come back, and maybe I’ll be a lot more forgetful in my old age than I had wished. Whatever state my mind is in now, though, all the moments of seeing my baby grow and smile each day will feed my memories with so many positive thoughts and emotions in the future.

Even if I still don’t have what I needed from Aisle 5 …

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